Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.” “For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80? “Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?” “No” Sam replied. “Do you eat fatty meat or sweets?” “No” said Sam “I am very careful about what I eat.” “How about your activities? Do you engage in thrilling behaviors like speeding or skiing? “No” said Sam taken aback, “I would never engage in dangerous activities.” “Well,” said the doctor, “then why in the world would you want to live to be 80?

Q: What do cats put in their drinks?

A: Mice cubes!

Q: What did the girl do after drinking 8 sodas?

A: She burped 7UP!

Q: What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
A: Snow and Tell.

Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A puddle

Think about this: If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's.

How is snow white? Pretty good, according to the seven dwarfs.

A sure fire plan for snow removal: spring.

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

A blond got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

What happened when the snowgirl broke up with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers.

Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs.

How do snowmen travel around?
By iceicle.

What sort of ball doesn't bounce?
A snowball.

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?
Frost bite.

How do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo.

What's red, carries a sack of toys and falls down the chimney? Santa Klutz

What's big, purple and eats rocks? A big, purple, rock eater.

What's yellow and always points North? A magnetic bannana

What animal can fly higher than a house? All flying animals because houses don't fly.